WWE Heat Report: 9th March 2008
By Shaun Best-Rajah.com Reporter
Commentators: Todd Grisham & Josh Mathews
Ring Announcer: Lilian Garcia
Welcome aboard. Heat has four matches on hand this week. Divas action is kicking us off so let’s get to it.
Melina w/Beth Phoenix vs Mickie James
Melina and Beth give each other props on their way out. Melina gives herself a light spank before performing her split legged entrance. An impressed Beth looks on. Josh brings up the fact that Mickie can’t beat Beth. Melina boots before applying a side headlock. Melina sucks her thumb before using it to poke Mickie in the eye. Mickie rams Melina into the corner front first, then rolls her up for two. Mickie slaps Melina then hits a low dropkick to the head. Mickie hooks Melina’s legs and turns a slingshot into a single leg boston crab. Melina gets to the ropes. Melina kicks Mickie’s leg before throwing her down, tying up the legs and wrenching the head. Melina works over Mickie with a chinlock, throw to the mat and neck tie. Mickie escapes with elbows to the head and a modified cross body. Both Divas throw the other’s heads into the mat then exchange forearms and kicks. Mickie follows up with a big boot, clothesline and a modified takedown. Melina reverses an Irish whip but charges into a backelbow. Mickie comes out of the corner with a headscissors before catching Melina with a neckbreaker for a nearfall. Mickie gets Melina up who hits a throat shot. Mickie ducks underneath Melina before coming back with a thesz press and punches. Beth interjects herself in the match by distracting Mickie from the apron. Mickie makes an unsuccessful lunge/grab attempt from the bottom rope allowing Melina to snap Mickie’s back across the ropes. Melina hits a reverse DDT, leg lariat combo for the 1-2-3. Good, solid opener from the Divas. Here is Your Winner: MELINA. Post match, Beth gets on the mic. Beth tells Candice and Maria to pay close attention as she is about to give just a little taste of what they’re going to get at WrestleMania. Beth gets Mickie on her shoulders and Melina comes off the top rope with a doomsday device. Melina and Beth raise their arms before leaving to Beth’s music. Grisham acts all disgusted. At least bunnymania has been spiced up a bit now. Perhaps Beth and Melina are looking to take out the lumberjacks one-by-one.
UK Note: WWE goes HD, Monday March 17th at 1am on Sky Sports HD.
Charlie Haas & Robbie McAllister vs Paul London & Brian Kendrick
Haas and Robbie come out together to Haas’ music. Grisham says there’s no news on when Rory McAllister is due back from his torn pec injury. This match is a continuation of some sorts from last week’s Main Event. Nice to see London back in action. London runs to the ring while Kendrick opts to walk. London sports black and white sunglasses with Josh saying it looks like he’s come straight from the Bill and Ted movie. Haas has a red singlet with Haas written across it. Josh says Haas and Robbie know how to work with a partner so this doesn’t put them at a disadvantage for their first outing as a team. Haas starts with a wristlock. Kendrick uses the second rope to backflip over and reverse. London drops a fist onto the arm from the top rope. London applies an armbar, Haas takes London to the corner to knee the gut and Irish whip. London floats over and out onto the ring apron. London headbutts Haas in the gut, then leaps back in, catching Haas in a sunset flip for a nearfall. London armdrags before Londrick land a double hiptoss off the ropes. Kendrick covers for one. Kendrick armdrags Haas who knees the gut then tags out. Robbie runs into an armdrag. Tag to London. Kendrick droptoeholds Robbie off the ropes while London drops an elbow across his back for a nearfall. London and Robbie exchange armbars. London drops a leg onto Robbie’s arm and gets a nearfall off of an armlock. London applies a front facelock. Kendrick tags and drops a double axehandle across the back from the top rope. Kendrick lands kicks to Robbie’s arm. Kendrick gets a one count off a snapmare. Kendrick armbars, Robbie hooks the hair to take him to the heel corner. Haas chokes Kendrick with the turnbuckle string as Robbie distracts the referee. Kendrick fights out of the corner with elbows and forearms. Kendrick dropkicks Haas off the apron and Haas disappears under the ring. Kendrick gets nearfalls on Robbie after a rollup and hiptoss. Kendrick goes back to the armbar but gets distracted by the re-appearance of Haas on the apron. Haas has changed wardrobes into his blue and silver mask/singlet. Josh debates whether it’s Haas or not. This allows Robbie to clothesline then put the boots to Kendrick. Haas tags, clubs Kendrick’s back, Irish whips, lands a battering ram, knee to the gut and belly-to-belly suplex in quick succession. Haas punches London off the apron then splashes on top of Kendrick for a nearfall. London tries and fails to get in as Haas slams Kendrick then pulls out a second mask and puts it on Robbie as he tags him in. Grisham dubs the heels the dynamic duo, as Robbie springs in over the top rope with a legdrop on Kendrick. Robbie pulls the mask off and throws it away, saying he’s not wearing it. Kendrick catches Robbie with a schoolboy for a nearfall. Robbie regains control with a clothesline, kneedrop and hand choke on the mat. Robbie chokes Kendrick again along the bottom rope. Haas tags and lifts Kendrick up for a powerbomb. In mid-air, Kendrick lands punches and pulls Haas’ mask off on his way back down to his feet. Kendrick catches Haas with a heel kick. Both men are down but both manage to tag out. London kicks Robbie before ramming him into the corner. London lands two clotheslines and a dropkick. Robbie reverses off the ropes, puts his head down, London steps over but Robbie boots the gut. London reverses an Irish whip, telegraphing a float over and quickly countering by sweeping Robbie’s legs. London hits a mushroom stomp across the chest. London fires up before catching Robbie in an inverted atomic drop and headscissors. A cover gets broken up by a Haas double axehandle. Haas goes to put the mask back on, but Kendrick dropkicks him outside the ring. Kendrick puts the mask on and nails a pescado on Haas. Grisham thinks the mask has magical powers. Back inside, London goes up top. Robbie crotches him then climbs up himself. Robbie sustains three forearms. London comes off worse after a headbutt. Robbie laughs so London shoves him to the mat. Kendrick tosses London the mask, urging him to put it on. London puts it on, feels the ‘magic’ and connects with a top rope mushroom stomp on Robbie. One standing shooting star press later and London gets the duke. 1-2-3. Good, entertaining match. I like the mask concept that Haas brings to his matches. Here Are Your Winners: PAUL LONDON & BRIAN KENDRICK. Post match, London keeps the mask on for a bit as he and Kendrick celebrate. Kendrick finally kicks the mask back to Haas. London runs Haas off the apron and Haas complains to the referee about the violation of his mask.
Snitsky vs Val Venis
Another match that’s come out of last week’s Main Event. Val kisses the hand of a girl before going back to give her his towel and a kiss on the cheek. Her boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind. Val tries to work the arm but Snitsky knees the gut and starts to choke Val. Val fires back with punches. Snitsky reverses an Irish whip. Val gets his feet up on a charge. Val gets caught from the second rope and gets driven back first into the corner. Snitsky goes to slam but Val wriggles free and lands more punches. Val runs the ropes but gets floored by a shoulder tackle. Snitsky delivers stomps, a slam and drops two elbows. Snitsky gets agitated as the crowd chant ‘brush your teeth.’ Snitsky boots and drops an elbow across Val’s back before sitting on a chinlock. Snitsky switches to a front facelock as Josh plays fantasy matchmaker and brings up Isaac Yankem DDS as an ideal opponent for Snitsky. Grisham speculates on Yankem’s resemblance of Kane (wink, wink). Josh is surprised that Grisham went there. Val attacks Snitsky’s knees with his own knees to try and escape. Snitsky clubs the back then Irish whips. Val avoids a charge and Snitsky gets his foot tied up in the corner. Val gets a rollup for two. Val meets another charge with a low dropkick to the knee. Val lands more punches and some kneelifts as he tries to whip Snitsky off the ropes. Val lunges, Snitsky backdrops him out onto the apron. Snitsky advances, Val hangs him up on the top rope. Snitsky drops to his knees. Val takes Snitksy down with a flying shoulder tackle from the top rope. 1-2-no. Val gets Snitsky up to forearm. Snitsky reverses off the ropes, Val telegraphs a backbodydrop with a boot to the head. Val then runs into a big boot. During this, Grisham announces JBL vs Finlay at WrestleMania. There’ll be a McMahon involved somewhere. Snitsky finishes things off with his pumphandle slam. 1-2-3. Val carried Snitsky to a good showing. At least he didn’t get squashed. Here is Your Winner: SNITSKY. Post match, Snitsky snarls and paces the ring before leaving.
UK Note: Tomorrow night, Raw is a three hour, tri-branded, WrestleMania sized show. The theme is WrestleMania rewind night and it starts at midnight on Sky Sports 3.
Paul Burchill w/Katie Lea vs Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Main Event time. Grisham says that Hacksaw demanded this match. By the way who’s the Heat GM? As Paul and Katie come out, we see clips from last week, where Burchill blindsided Hacksaw. We cut back to the ring and Katie has a mic. Katie says last week, Hacksaw emerged victoriously from his match and somehow got the fans to cheer for him, acting like he was this great American hero. Katie says the problem is, the fans still view this so-called legend as if he was still a hero. Katie says if we were to idolise anybody it should be a most perfect specimen of manhood, her big brother Paul. The crowd boo. Katie says to prove it and because she wants him to, her brother Paul is about to once again, beat the living hell out of our hero Jim Duggan. Paul concludes by saying, whatever Katie wants, Katie always gets. Hacksaw comes out to the usual fanfare and tries to go after Burchill with his 2×4 a couple of times, but the referee blocks his path. Both men start with a tieup to the ropes. Hacksaw unloads with punches, a hiptoss and two clotheslines. Burchill retreats towards Katie as Hacksaw works the crowd. Hacksaw ducks a right hand before unloading with more punches, sending Burchill to the apron. Hacksaw advances, Burchill hangs him up on the top rope as Katie distracts the referee. Back inside, Burchill chokes Hackaw in the ropes with his hands. Burchill takes Hacksaw down by the leg, stomps the throat and gets a one count. Burchill applies a head vice before switching to a chinlock. Hacksaw uses elbows and punches to get free. Hacksaw runs the ropes but gets met by a knee to the gut. Burchill drops a knee across the throat for a nearfall. Hacksaw punches away again, Burchill cuts him off with a gut shot and elbow across the neck. Burchill presses his knee against Hacksaw’s throat. Hacksaw gets up, paces the ring, lands punches, so Burchill rakes the face. Burchill drives his head into Hacksaw’s gut then snapmares him and goes back to the chinlock. Hacksaw elbows free, Burchill clubs the neck and goes to ram Hacksaw’s head into the corner. Hacksaw blocks this twice, then turns the tables, before landing four mounted corner punches. Hacksaw gets down to yell something at the referee. The censors bleep Hacksaw for saying ass. LOL. Hacksaw sends Burchill off the ropes into a backbodydrop. Hacksaw signals for the three point stance clothesline, but Burchill moves, pushing Hacksaw front first into the corner. Burchill rolls up Hacksaw and hooks the tights for the 1-2-3. Bad match. Burchill wasn’t on offense much and showed me nothing. He should have gone over more convincingly. I reckon a rematch is on the cards. Here is Your Winner: PAUL BURCHILL. Post match, Burchill quickly gets out of dodge. Hacksaw gives pursuit with the 2×4 before turning around and throwing his 2×4 back into the ring.
Grisham thanks us for watching to end the show.
Best Match: Charlie Haas & Robbie McAllister vs Paul London & Brian Kendrick.
Worst Match: Paul Burchill vs Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
Show Verdict: Thumbs in the middle. The first two matches were good. Snitsky’s match wasn’t as bad but Val deserves credit for that. The Main Event stunk. On the bright side, Heat had an angle of sorts (beatdown of Mickie) for the second straight week. Shame that next week looks like being another special edition. Nevertheless, I’ll see you then. Have a good one. Shaun.
If anyone wants to sound off, chew the fat or talk wrestling get in touch. Comments/praise/feedback/criticism/discussion points please direct to shaunmb1@hotmail.com.